Four months ago I wrote about the couples who had bared their souls in front of Orla Gurainik, in the television programme Couples Therapy (PC 326  The Hope – Exploring Relationships March 2023) and mentioned particularly Dale and India as two of their issues had intrigued me. One was about generational trauma and Dale’s belief that it was only African Americans who had this, handed down over the decades and still imagining it could be used as an excuse for failings in how he approached his relationship. The modern psychological belief that history leaves deep fingerprints on the psyche of whole populations is well accepted but it’s not exclusive to his group! The other issue: “….. and there has to be a lot of soul/self-searching in order to understand how real life affects your relationship.”Excuse me? What other sort of relationship could you have with another live human being?

I live and learn. Three weeks ago we had a small supper party; interesting group of individuals – budding criminal lawyer, budding writer, budding actress and dance teacher and Julian, who lecturers here in the city about the practical aspects of film production. With a sprinkling of fertiliser, some rain and some warmth, everyone should flower! I mentioned the Couples Therapy programme and my observations and Julian suddenly says:

“You mean IRL.”

“Sorry! What?”

“In real life”

“That’s a common abbreviation? IRL?” Apparently! (Note 1)

‘Real Life’ featured in Trevor Phillips’ essay about his daughter’s 22 year battle with Anorexia. He quotes Sushila who, in a final video, “….. railed against the celebrities and influencers who co-opt the language of mental health to describe feelings that previous generations would have ascribed to the medical condition of ‘being human’ – sadness, misery, loneliness and uncertainty – while simultaneously stoking the fires of teenage self-loathing with airbrushed social media images, expensive dental work and ruthlessly honed physiques.”  She was 36.

When do you think ‘real life’ starts? Before your 10^th birthday you’re encouraged to use your imagination, for instance through reading, through cartoons or through play with others of a similar age. From the Beatrix Potter series, from The Very Hungry Caterpillar (1969) or from The Gruffalo (1999), children are regaled with tales of talking animals, often with a hidden ‘life lesson’, such as over-eating or junk food as is the case of the caterpillar. At some point they learn that animals don’t talk – probably about the time they learn that Santa Claus isn’t real either, although it doesn’t stop their parents putting out a carrot, glass of sherry and a mince pie at Christmas!

Maybe it’s only when you become a teenager do you begin to experience real life, understanding it happens at home, in the class room, in the playground, on the sports field, the interaction both with another human, with other humans and with the voice inside your head. And gradually we learn what works for us, for others and how to adapt and adopt. And we learn that there are some people we instinctively get on with, are drawn to, are comfortable with – and vica versa!

If you need to be reminded how we are subconsciously attracted to others, read the passage in ‘PC 149 Relationships’ about The Institute of Family Therapy exercise called Family Systems. Although there might be an unintentional bias in the students, the results are fascinating; real life!

Humans have always dreamed, have always acted, have often developed an ‘alter ego’ but the internet has offered unparalleled opportunities to expand the simple concept into the personal development of some fantasy figure. It allows individuals to do all sorts of things, some legal and some extremely dubious, all out there in the ether, but not IRL.

Real life is, for some, awful. Experiencing deprivation, hunger, domestic or parental abuse or loneliness, with access to the internet individuals can fly to some fantasy world, created by themselves or by others, and this world becomes their real life. The danger of course is that it creates unrealistic expectations and possibly  opening them up to exploitation. Sadly examples of sexual exploitation through online grooming are far too frequent. And a good friend’s brother, well-educated and outwardly sensible, but lonely, fell for some Russian doll and parted with £25k before realising it was more likely a Nigerian troll!

Gamers dream and act of ruling the world, winning the fight, beating the odds in some fantasy world, although some get so mentally twisted they try and act out their fantasy IRL. Interestingly the Gaming Industry in the UK, in some perverse way, was worth over £7 billion in 2022.

I have never used a dating website such as Grindr, Tinder or Hinge but believe individuals cheat and distort and obfuscate and exaggerate – and IRL it’s a very different story. Sad huh?

When I was at school sex education co-opted the birds and bees as though using the human body was sort of smutty. But now we have the internet and children “risk having a distorted view of sexual issues because of pornography” says Nick Hewlett head of St Dunstan’s College in south London. “We will end up in some future society with a generation that has had sex lessons through an unregulated cyberspace, with a distorted view of healthy sex and the government needs to do something about it.”

Ah! Yes! ‘The Government needs to do something about it!’ Where is the parental responsibility? Why is it that parents seem to think that schools are the only place where these life lessons get taught?

Then we have Cindy Gallop, creator of the video-sharing website ‘Make Love not Porn’ (Note  2) which apparently posts ‘real life’ sex content (that term real life huh!). She says parents should talk to their children about pornography in their first conversations about sex. No more ‘birds and bees’ then?

Have you heard the joke about the chap watching a ‘pornographic sex’ channel? His wife unexpectedly came in with a friend to show her the aspidistra and he hurriedly changed channels. She noticed him engrossed in some fishing programme. “Why don’t you go back to the sex channel? You know how to fish.” 

We don’t chose to be born, but we live in a moment, in a place, at a time. So we make the most of it, sucking everything there is to suck out of life.

 In real life!

Richard 7^th July 2023

Hove

http://www.postcardscribbles.co.uk

Note 1 Julian recommended Chris Stedman’s book “IRL – Finding Realness, Meaning & Belonging”

Note 2 Fortunately spotted a typo – had written ‘Male’ and not ‘Make’!

Traditionally two stick orderlies led the 1000 officer cadets onto Old College Square at the Royal Military Academy Sandhurst for the end-of-term parade. That’s me on the extreme right!

I don’t think I have personally contributed to the rich fabric of our traditions, rather pompous to think I might have done, but the late Queen’s funeral and more recently the new King’s coronation have reminded me just how deep tradition is imbedded into the way we do things in the United Kingdom. Seems a long time ago now when Charlie Wilson and I were ‘Stick Orderlies’ and formed the guard for the Inspecting Officer for the Commandant’s Parade; in fact December 1966! Tradition at Sandhurst dictated everything.

In a constitutional monarchy the coronation of a new sovereign (Note 1) is a hugely important event, a time when tradition dictates so much of what happens and we the public marvel and gawp in equal measure.

Unless you’re involved …… like the current Leader of the House of Commons, Penny Mordaunt, who had to carry the Sword of State, weighing 3.6kgs, for nearly an hour – keeping it upright of course! (Note 2)

Unless you’re involved …..  like Charles who, as King, placed his hands on a bible from the C6th: the Augustine Gospels are regarded as the most precious and important medieval manuscript to survive in England. Then tradition had it he had to be dressed in the colobium sindonis, supertunia and girdle, a sort of solid gold overcoat before being given some spurs, representing bravery and knighthood, the bracelets of sincerity and wisdom, the Sovereign’s orb, the Ring of Kingly Dignity and the rod of Equity and Mercy.

Caitlin Morran of The Times wrote it reminded her of the end of a TV game show called Crackerjack, when kids had to hold an increasing load of prizes and cabbages. I think the ‘Glove of God’, looking remarkably like your average oven glove, was the last straw! No wonder Charles looked rather overwhelmed by the whole occasion.

Unless you are involved ….. like the Archbishop of Canterbury who played an important role, having earlier put his foot in it saying he thought the public should swear ‘allegiance to the new king’ – sort of ‘touch the forelock’? In 2023, I don’t think so!

And each to their own, but I personally find it difficult to believe that the chrism or holy oil used to anoint the king came from God. I would prefer to understand that our upmarket Waitrose had a special offer, or maybe they bought it at the King’s grocer Fortnum & Mason, but I do know it was vegan.

Other snippets of information that intrigued me? The Roman Catholic prelate Vincent Nichols became the first of his office to play a part in a coronation since the Reformation (1517-1555). The Chief Rabbi, Ephraim Mirvis, reminded the congregation that in 1189, when Jewish leaders came bearing gifts to the coronation of Richard Coeur de Lion (Note 3) they were stripped, flogged and thrown out of the abbey. Fortunately we have a different view in 2023. And you have heard of King’s Troop, Royal Horse Artillery? The ‘king’ in this case was George VI and the troop provides gun carriages for state funerals and uses its 13 pounder guns to fire salutes on State occasions. Apparently, at the moment, all the riders are female, as is the Officer Commanding.

As I dutifully watched the King’s Coronation Concert in the back garden of Windsor Castle, on the Sunday evening of that weekend, I was reminded of the overheard conversation between two American tourists. As a Boeing 747 (so that dates it!) roared overhead on its way to landing at London’s Heathrow airport, one turned to the other and yelled:

“Why did they build the castle so close to the airport?”  (Note 4)

And never one to miss an opportunity to have fun, our rabbit Francisquinha (see PCs 172, 217 & 331) managed to appear above the castle holding on to dozens of drones!

It goes on! Next week, on July 5^th the new King & Queen will be presented with the ‘Honours of Scotland’. The oldest crown jewels in Great Britain, they were first used in the coronation of Mary Queen of Scots in 1543, then in 1707 put away in a chest when Scotland was joined to England in The Union.

The newspaper says they were ‘rediscovered by Sir Walter Scott (and others?) in 1818’. Brief descriptions such as this create incredulous thoughts! What? Stuffed in the attic, in a cellar, in someone’s bothy, these priceless items wrapped in some cloak or blanket. And who told Scott where to look? Ah! History huh!

But at the end of the coronation, seven thousand of the troops who had taken part marched into the grounds of Buckingham Palace and formed up in long ranks on the grass; not easy marching in time on grass. Rifles were laid on the ground, headgear was removed and as the new King and Queen arrived at the rear of the building, the Sergeant Major in charge of the parade gave the order:

 “Three cheers for His Majesty. Hip! Hip!”

 ……… and the sound of thousands of voices shouting ‘Hurray’, three times, reverberated around the grounds, over the roofs of  the palace and down The Mall to Trafalgar Square.

Watching it on television produced a lump in my throat, the slight wetness in the eyes and the thought: “Yes! Wonderful! We do this sort of thing really well. That’s tradition.”

Yes! That’s tradition.

Richard 30^th June 2023

Hove

www.postcardscribbles.co.uk

PS At a rehearsal for the King’s Official Birthday Trooping the Colour Parade, one of the bandsman succumbed to the heat.

Looks as though, even horizontal, he is still trying to play – probably a flat note!

Note 1 For instance, Victoria in 1838, Edward VII in 1902 (delayed a month because of acute appendicitis), George V (1911); Edward VIII’s was cancelled due to his abdication and his brother George VI was crowned instead in 1936; then Elizabeth II in 1953.

Note 2 The weight of the sword was eased by placing its hilt in a small pocket at the bottom of a sash around her shoulders.

Note 3 Richard 1 (1157 – 1199) also ruled as Duke of Normandy, Aquitaine and Gascony. His statue is outside the Houses of Parliament.

Note 4 The building of Windsor Castle was started by William the Conqueror in 1070 on some high ground overlooking the River Thames. It was completed 16 years later.

My postcards have covered an eclectic range of subjects; you have only to look at the vague synopsis in PC 300 (September 2022) to see I have, for instance, scribbled about travel, about health issues, about sailing, about current news and whatever has peaked my interest. This week’s title was prompted by reading a recent obituary, but let me explain.

If I reach for my dictionary I find: “Serendipity – The occurrence and development of events by chance in a happy or beneficial way.” Apparently Britain’s favourite word, it was first coined by English writer Horace Walpole on 1754. (Note 1) He had made an unexpected discovery of a Persian fairy tale of the Three Princes of Serendip, an ancient Persian name for Sri Lanka (formerly also Ceylon), often referred to by Arab traders as ‘Sarandib’.

A little like a water droplet on the tip of the Indian sub-continent

First written down in 1302, the fairy tales of the Three Princes of Serendip are based on the life of the Persian king Bahram V, who ruled the Sassnid Empire between 420 and 440 AD. Briefly, the three sons of King Giaffer are sent abroad to learn more about the real world. They come across signs of a blind, lame camel carrying butter, honey and a woman …. but never actually see the animal. When they report their findings, they are arrested, accused of stealing the camel and taken to Emperor Beramo. Suffice to say the camel is found, the Emperor is impressed by the princes’ sagacity (Note 2) and their powers of observation and appoints them as his advisors. They were always making discoveries by accident and sagacity, of things which they were not looking for …. so we have ‘serendipity’! There’s also a version of the fable of the camel with a blind eye included in the Talmud!

There are many examples of serendipitous discoveries:

Perhaps the most famous is that by Sir Alexander Fleming in 1928 of the antibiotic penicillin. On his return from a holiday, he found a petri dish containing a staphylococcus culture that had been left on his laboratory bench. Peering into it, he noticed it had been infected by a Penicillin mould.

In 1954, on his return from a bird hunting trip (Note 3), the Swiss George de Mestral removed from the outside of his trousers some cockleburs and put them under a microscope. Each burr was covered in tiny hooks. He named the hook-and-loop fastener he subsequently developed Velcro (from the French words ‘velour’ and ‘crochet’).

When you next use your microwave oven, think of its inventor Raytheon scientist Percy Spencer. Fiddling with some radar equipment in 1945, he noticed a chocolate bar in his pocket had been melted by heat-generating microwaves emitted from a magnetron! The laboratory equipment was the size of a house but by 1976 it had been reduced to a viable commercial size.

And another one worthy of mention as serendipitous is the Post It note. A colleague used some of a weak adhesive produced by 3M scientist Spencer Silver to keep temporary bookmarks in place in his church hymnal. It was 1979.

Are you still wondering whose obituary prompted these scribbles? Well, back in March 1963 in New York, Joāo Gilberto, a Brazilian guitarist, singer and composer who was a pioneer of the music genre of bossa nova in the late 1950s, and Stan Getz, the American jazz saxophonist, sat in a recording studio intent on producing an album. One of the songs they planned to record was Garota de Ipanema (the Girl from Ipanema), about a beautiful teenage girl called Heloisa Pinheiro whom the Brazilian pianist Antōnio Carlos Jobim and lyricist Vinicius de Moraes had admired as they sat at the Veloso bar on Rio de Janeiro’s Ipanema Beach.

Ipanema beach on a cloudy day!

Originally written by Moraes in Portuguese the lyrics had been translated into English by Norman Gimbel, who had come up with the wonderful opening lines: “Tall and tanned and young and lovely/the girl from Ipanema goes walking/and when she passes, each one she passes goes, ‘ahhh’”  The album’s producer, Creed Taylor, decided they should record the song with its English lyrics but immediately realised they was a problem; Joāo Gilberto spoke no English and neither did any of the other professional singers in the studio that evening. Creed looked across to the control room and saw Joāo’s wife Astrud. He beckoned her in and asked whether she could sing the lyrics: she volunteered and proceeded to sing “in a dreamily romantic and sensual voice that fitted the song like a glove.”

The single of the song didn’t even have her name on the credits, but the following year,1964, an album entitled ‘Getz/Gilberto’ included a second track of hers and it went on to become a million-seller: ‘Astrud Gilberto made the album a smash hit’. Astrud died on 5^th June 2023 aged 83. Surely a wonderful example of serendipity, the occurrence and development of events by chance in a happy or beneficial way,?  

Richard 23^rd June 2023

Hove

www.postcardscribbles.co.uk

Note 1 There have recently been accusations that Beatrix Potter ‘stole’ the stories she used to create ‘Peter Rabbit’ from earlier tales known as Brer Rabbit, told by enslaved Africans working on American plantations. I think one thing we can be certain about is that over the centuries stories get retold, translated, adapted and often skewed to suit their new audiences. The story of the Three Princes of Serendip started around 420 ….. only one thousand six hundred and three years ago and not written down for 900 years! You can find the same feature in modern songs, often using tunes familiar to classical music adherents! For example, Leonard Bernstein borrowed a tune from Beethoven’s Emperor Concerto for his song ‘Somewhere’ for the musical West Side Story. Nothing new under the sun!

Note 2 Sagacity. Such a lovely sounding word, one that is rarely used these days, means foresight, discernment or keen perception.

Note 3 I never understanding the fascination people, particularly Europeans, have of blasting little migratory birds out of the sky.

We have stayed in the hotel in Estoril a number of times and have always managed to secure a room with a view over the sea; there are some rooms with an unexceptional view over the roundabout on the land side!! This time we had a room, number 230, right at one end ….. with a connecting door. I wasn’t really sure whether this door would take me to Narnia or whether I should have tried the real wardrobes in the room. Tempting to open it; no doubt faced with a locked door!  Have you ever tried the door already knowing that your friends or colleagues are in room 233 and not next door in 231?

During ‘Covid’ times we had stayed here and been subjected to all sorts of rules and regulations …. ones that we were obviously happy to go along with! One was the lack of a breakfast buffet. I am sure you have stayed in hotels or Bed & Breakfast places where anything you want has been laid out on long tables? Generally they are covered with items like juices, cereals, milks of various types, yoghurts, grilled fish (especially in Norway), hard boiled eggs, all sorts of fruit, ham, cheeses, cold meats, brioche, pain au chocolat, croissant, bread for toasting etc and you watch other guests piling stuff onto their plate, either suggesting they didn’t eat the previous evening, or that they are going to forgo lunch so need to stoke the boiler or that, faced with a lavish spread that they feel they’ve paid for, just need to get their money’s worth. Most are unworried if they have a cough, the snivels, or runny nose and that the odd dribble wouldn’t matter.

Then Covid came along and everyone was recalling that graphic UK government NHS campaign aimed at reducing the spread of influenza, where someone in a crowded lift sneezed and, switching to slow motion for maximum effect, the green coloured vapour spread across the occupants, across the walls and across the handrail – and of course if you put your hand anywhere in a lift, it is on the handrail or on the buttons!

You certainly didn’t want anyone near the breakfast buffet. It disappeared and actually I sort of hoped it was gone forever, as it’s never an example of good food hygiene. But now it’s back and why can’t people put the spoons provided for you to have a dollop of scrambled egg, or slices of bacon or a couple of sausages or a spoonful of tomatoes or a hash brown back properly? It’s as if say ‘I’ve got mine …. and I subconsciously couldn’t care about the others!’  

The scanning of the Dinner menu has stayed as an improvement to a physical one – but I like to leaf backwards and forwards, looking at this potential main and, if I had that. would I have a pudding and, if so, what that might that be or should I have a starter and a main and forgo the sweet offerings and feel good about it but then know that when the time comes my heart will overrule my head and that Tiramisu or Crème Brûlée will just have to be ordered!

Between the hotel and the sea lay the pool.

Diogo, Miguel and Bernardo spent their days walking from the pool bar/café to the customers and back. Every item of food came from the hotel’s main kitchen so there was a 30 minutes delay and it required Diogo, Miguel or Bernardo to go and collect it. Cocktails and drinks were always available. And I get cross: “Another towel? No problem!” “Thank you and would you mind moving the sunbed for me as I am so weak/helpless/entitled and that’s your job anyway?” Simple observations!

Hotel pools are a magnet for guests, some like Mr & Mrs Brown from Huddersfield, both pale and overweight; then there was Giles Davis from Dubai posing by the pool for a selfie or 10, uploading them to his social media accounts and having loud  conversations with distant chums; Mr & Mrs Benson from Atlanta and their offspring, who think they are entitled to do what they want and not a care about the others around the pool; Ms Samantha Boyes, obviously an Influencer (note capital I), and maybe the first time I have consciously seen one of this new breed of human, taking care with her selection of clothes, make-up etc.

The International Fitness Summit took place in Lisbon and some of the attendees were staying at the hotel – the swimming pool their opportunity for selfies and posturing in their speedos, miniscule bikinis and with their obligatory tattoos. Mind you they were nothing like the Russians in Sicily.

In PC 134 (The Largest Mediterranean Island October 2018) I wrote: “Any ‘group’ is bound to dominate a small place but these people had no respect for others, demonstrating a lack of understating of acceptable behaviour; and because there were 8 of them they became a real nuisance. Their second morning they occupied more than 50% of the sun deck (tut! tut!) and plugged their USB into a loudspeaker; there was nothing quiet about this Russian playlist!! One of the men was a real comedian, or so he thought, as after everything he said he screamed with laughter and his chums joined in too; a nightmare if you’re trying to concentrate on a story!! After a couple of hours I asked the pneumatic blonde whether she could turn her loudspeaker off. She turned questioningly to this head of family. He rose up to his full 1.9m height, his belly extending way over his trunks: “Wot? You no like music?”  

Back in Estoril the hotel lies along the shoreline, separated from the sea itself by the Cascais – Lisbon railway and the pedestrian/cyclist promenade (actually this should only be for walking although if you use it as a verb, you can of course drive/cycle/ride/walk providing you are doing whatever you’re doing to be seen by others!)

Monte Estoril station

To get to the promenade you pass the station of Monte Estoril and walk through a pedestrian underpass. The curve of the railway track here is such that as the train departs for end-of-the-line Cascais the wheels create a banshee loud enough to wake any sunbed snoozer!

          I never did open the connecting door.

Richard 16^th June 2023

Hove

www.postcardscribbles.co.uk

Being relatively organised I have a string of ‘titles’ that might become postcards and today’s started off in draft last Saturday, after the final of MasterChef and after our meeting up with Richard, Debbie and Isla. It clearly was the right title this week as the person in the Sunday Times Magazine’s ‘A Life in the Day’ column was someone called Vick Hope!

The latest series of the televised cooking competition ‘MasterChef’ has just finished. Over the last eight weeks Celina and I have watched 45 ordinary people, who individually dream of running their own restaurant or writing a cook book or both, fight to reach the final three. We had wanted Robin to stay but his soufflé failed to rise, prayed Gloria could finish within the time deadline and been disappointed when Caitlin’s ‘modern take on Fish ‘n’ Chips’ didn’t wow the judges. Inevitably one develops favourites, then they bring the hurdle crashing down and are out of the race and you look for another on whom to put your money. The MasterChef logo is a brilliant take on an electric hob!

In the end this year’s three finalists reflect the diverse nature of those living here in the United Kingdom: Chariya Khattiyot, a master coffee roaster (40) originally from northern Thailand, Anurag Aggarwal, an accountant (41) originally from India and Omar Foster, a Toy Developer (31) from Barnsley.

Anurag had obeyed his somewhat traditional Indian parents as a youngster living in Gurgaon, India and trained to be an accountant. But subsequently he moved to the UK to be able to indulge his passion for cooking. His numerical training was evident in his hugely detailed spread-sheets which he laid out on his workbench before the relevant challenge, coloured coded and actions timed to the minute. Omar was an inventive cook and his dishes challenged and amazed the two judges in equal measure. But while it was Chariya who lifted the 2023 trophy it is the neat, precise, humble Anurag whose hope for his future is echoed in his final comments that I remember:

“It’s as if my wings were hidden somewhere and I have found them on MasterChef. I just want to fly free!”

I started this postcard mentioning a Vick Hope; my regular readers may recall another ‘A Life in the Day’ individual, Ayesha Vardag and her words of wisdom in PC 325. Another gem came from Kaleb Cooper, the Farm Manager and unlikely star of Jeremy Clarkson’s Diddly Squat. (Note 1) In the column after Ayesha Vardag’s, his advice: “To anyone thinking of farming (or any other option, journalism, finance, nursing, acting, being a chef for instance) as a career, dreams don’t work, unless you do.” Very aptly put!

“Dreams don’t work, unless you do!”

On Tuesday I popped into The Hope Café as I wanted Sami’s opinion on the latest revelations from our Post Office. It’s now over 700 days since PC 235 “Generosity in Government” (June 2021) when I expressed the hope that the government would be generous to our sub-postmasters in the wake of the Horizon IT scandal. Some hope! Here we are two years later: some of those wrongly convicted have died without receiving a penny in compensation and now a Freedom of Information request has revealed a code that applied to the compensation cases.

“You know Richard, it’s as if they (The Post Office) thought that the non-white sub-postmasters and mistresses, and I included myself in this group as my parents were Anglo-Indian, wouldn’t kick up a fuss as they had no one fighting their corner. Now we understand that they opened a file on each ‘suspect’ and coded their ethnicity. I assume so their race would affect the way the post office dealt with their claim.”

“Give me an example Sami?”

“A number on their file referred to a list. Claimants were classified, for example, as ‘negroid types’ (West Indian, Nigerian, African etc), ‘Arabian/Egyptian types’, ‘Chinese/Japanese types, ‘dark skinned European types etc etc.”

“That’s absolutely shocking and if I understand correctly these codes were in use in 2008 and onwards. I am ashamed to think that this still happens; it’s not the 1950s for God’s sake!”

“And do you know that only 85 of the 700 wrongly prosecuted postmasters have had their convictions overturned?”

“Let’s hope those responsible within the Post Office are brought to account. Sami, just seen Mo so need to catch up with her. Lisa OK?

“Yes! Back down here next week and planning a trip to Berlin.”

I walk over to where Mo has a Brazilian Brigadeiro and a coffee in front of her. We exchange the normal pleasantries and then she tells me a story from her mother:

“She had been invited to have an ‘Over 75’s Covid Spring Booster’ and overheard a conversation between a nurse at the Portslade Health Centre and a chap in the queue for his vaccination.

“Are you in the right place? This is for the Over 75s.”

“That’s OK then.”

“Can I ask how old you are?”

 “76”

“Well, you don’t look it! Congratulations!”

          Then she watched as this young-looking 76 year old went into the cubicle and heard the nurse there, after explaining about allergic reactions and stuff, ask the same question!!”

“Well, there are those who look their age, some who don’t; some stay mentally young and have an attitude which says ‘I am only 76 ….”

There is always hope I guess!!

And last Friday we encountered a real example of hope over adversity. A chum from my time in London had come down to visit Brighton & Hove, bringing his wife Debbie and 5 year old Isla – oh! and the dog Millie! Isla has Grade 5 Spina Bifida. We caught up at The Lawns Café …… and walked home discussing how life sometimes deals a tough hand, but the love these three individually exhibit is a wonderful example of HOPE!

Richard 9^th June 2023

Hove

http://www.postcardscribbles.co.uk

Note 1 Clarkson named his farm in Chipping Norton ‘Diddly Squat’, reflecting his belief you never make any money farming! 

The title for this postcard is a take on the 1951 film ‘An American in Paris’, which was itself inspired by the wonderful 1928 orchestral composition by George Gershwin. I am sure Gershwin wouldn’t have minded my appropriation. Its content is simply a repeat of only one side of a conversation, overheard whilst having a cup of tea at a nearby table in the garden of the Royal Crescent Hotel in Bath (See postscript below). I have added some personal photographs where it helps.

I surmise that an American couple, Ted and his wife Glenda, are on another visit to the UK. They have ‘done’ Oxford this year and then tomorrow drive down to Tenby in South Wales before finishing a week later in The Cotswolds. He’s talking to his son Russell who lives in Boulder, Colorado.

“You remember we were last here in 2019, Russell? Such a special place and the hotel’s just got better and better. We spoiled ourselves this time and had a minor suite with views over the lawns in front of the crescent.

What? You’re asking whether a crescent’s a semi-circle, right? No! No! It’s very clever, it’s a semi-ellipse. You’ll remember that stuff from school but I had to look it up and found this diagram. It’s a brilliant design for a row of houses ……

…. and I have noticed that the three central houses are slightly wider, with four windows across and not three. The central point in the crescent is marked by two pairs of columns and the rear elevations of the houses are all different.

Each rear elevation is different!

There used to be a huge Magnolia tree growing from the basement in the front of Number 15; so big it reached up to the second floor. (Note 1)

Before!

Sadly the roots were obviously causing too much of a problem and it’s been cut down; looks very bare now and, you know me Russell, I wonder just how much damage it was causing or was it simple expediency? Probably been there for 90 years or more.

Now!

What’s that? Is your mother around? No! She’s treating herself to a 90 minute massage in the Spa here, while I’m gorging myself on the hotel’s tea; a snip at US$50! Tonight we’re going to eat in the hotel’s restaurant; wonderful English name – ‘Montagu’s Mews’. It’s the same place where we eat breakfast and where my tea this afternoon comes from. Interestingly there is not one English-looking waiter!

Rear of No 15

‘Montagu’s Mews’ used to be garages for first coaches then cars and there’s a rear entrance onto Julian Road. In the hall there’s a photograph of one of the cars, Thomas Tizzard’s large Humber Super Snipe – almost as big as some of our American gas-guzzlers.  He owned Number 15, now part of the hotel.

Last time we came we didn’t have time to visit the Roman Baths but this morning your mother and I spent a couple of hours immersed in this magnificent example of Roman building and planning. Used by the great and good of the time, so it was OK if you weren’t a slave I guess! Apparently they are the second largest existing example in the world, the other being in Rome itself.

I find this stuff fascinating Russell – hope you do too? Bath’s Roman name was Aquae Sulis (meaning the Waters of Sulis) and a temple was constructed over the hot springs sometime between 60 and 70 AD. The baths were used until the Romans withdrew from Britain in the first decade of the 5^th century (about 410!), variously in the following centuries and then they became a famous tourist and health attraction in the C18th. Major renovations took place in the 1980s and the whole complex is brilliantly shown.

While we were down there in the city centre we popped into the Abbey. I think I showed you photos from our last visit. Major renovations were going on then, lifting all the flagstones and skeletons from under the floor, installing under-floor heating pipes and connecting them to the hot natural spring hot water. Incidentally I learned that the spring water gushes up at over a million litres a day at 46°C – Mother Nature at its best huh!

Some of the pews have gone back in and I overheard someone saying to his wife and another couple that he used to attend the Sunday service back in 1955 as an 8 year old school boy, the pupils filling the pews just where I was standing. Here he was, 68 years later, sitting in quiet contemplation.

Bath is built of a wonderful local honey-coloured stone and the centre of the city has a great buzz about it, albeit sometimes the 1.3 million visitors that pour into it every year are slightly overwhelming! Tourists mingle with shoppers and I have noticed virtually every High Street chain in the UK has a presence here. Then I saw this student from Bath University sitting on his little stool, earning some beer money!

Pulteney Bridge is another photogenic place and it’s only when you come to places like this, Russell, that you realise how young a country the United States is, well to us white folk. The Native Americans wouldn’t agree. We think Boston and New York are old but Bath ……. now that’s old. Hang on, your mother’s just surfaced and she looks like she needs a glass of champagne. Talk to you later from Tenby. Love you son.”

So Ted ordered a glass of Tattinger champagne for Glenda and one for himself, I finished my tea and later, much later, took this evening photograph of the famous Royal Crescent in the City of Bath.

Richard 2^nd June 2023

Bath

http://www.postcardscribbles.co.uk

PS See also PCs 164 & 165

PPS I have used English spelling despite the American origin of the conversation!

Note 1 The Americans call what in the United Kingdom would be the ‘ground’ floor the ‘first’ floor. The Magnolia reached the UK first floor!

After the seriousness of my last two postcards, one dealing with Sepsis (PC 334) and one with Coercive Controlling Behaviour in relationships (PC 335), I feel this week I have earned a couple of hours relaxing in the Hope Café.

In his “An Essay on Man” Alexander Pope (1688 – 1744) wrote:

‘Hope springs eternal in the human breast;

Man never is, but always to be blest.

The soul, uneasy and confined from home,

Rests and expiates in a life to come.’

….. suggesting that people will always be optimistic and think that something better is coming. Actually I think today is a good day …. as Pooh would say!

So on Tuesday I popped in to The Hope, late in the afternoon, as Sami had texted me to say he was out for lunch but could meet up. Susie’s Aunt Libby is with Josh and looks as though she’s enjoying herself! Probably never imagined that in her 60s she would be acting as a barista in a coffee shop, but why not, I thought.

I went up to the counter. “Have you heard from Susie? Did she get to New Zealand OK, as it must be three weeks or more since she flew out?”

“Hello Richard. Yes she landed in Christchurch and then got a lift down to Dunedin. This is the Town Hall:

She spent a week there and has managed to find a job in Queenstown, working as a chalet girl during their skiing season. That starts in mid-June so she’s currently exploring Fjordland on the west coast. Here’s a good photograph of that wild and moody place, Milford Sound:

“Wow! That’s very dramatic. I mentioned to Susie before she went that I have lots of relatives scattered over the two islands. Michael Jones, who was an enormous help in the setting up of the first Nation Reunion in 2011 in Auckland, emailed to say he’d enjoyed PC 332 and that I should pass his telephone number to Susie, in case she needs any assistance during her time in North Island. Could you send this?” and I passed over his details, just as Sami comes through the doors. “Would you make me a double espresso and bring it over please?” 

Sami askes me about my chat with Lisa; I tell him what I had learned about Coercive Behaviour before I had spoken to her and how she’d given me a pretty horrific example of it in real life.

“When you came to dinner Lisa had said she’d sited it as the reason for her divorce, although when we spoke she talked about never sharing a house with Andrew. I am confused!”

“As I understand it, Andrew insisted on them getting married, as that gave him greater control over her. Despite getting married in a registry office in Derby in 2007, he actually pursued a rather open relationship.”

I have found so many news items about this (Note 1). For example, in 2016 Luke and Ryan Hart, due to go abroad for work, persuaded their mother and sister to leave the family home where their father had used fear of retribution to control the household for decades. Two days later the father found his wife and daughter and killed them both, before turning the gun on himself.

In 2019 a woman became the first to be prosecuted under the new law. Sentenced to 7 years in prison, Jordan Worth subjected her boyfriend 22 year old Alex Skeel to psychological and emotional abuse. “The hospital told me that I was 10 days away from death.”

There was good news too. Back in 2010 Sally Challen killed her 61 year old husband Richard having suffered years of controlling and humiliating abuse and was sentenced to life for murder. With the new law on the Statute Book, in 2019 the Court of Appeal was able to quash her conviction and replace it with the lesser charge of manslaughter. Reflecting time spent in prison, she was released.

Libby brings my coffee and offers another Milford Sound photograph from Susie:

Just as Sami and I are looking at our diaries to see when we might next share some conversation over a coffee in The Hope, Duncan the manager comes in. After a few minutes talking to Josh and Libby he comes across, looking very pleased, as if he’s just won the Lottery.

“Hi guys. All OK?” and without waiting for an answer continues “I have some great news. You remember dear regular Edith (See PC 278 Refuge April 2022) and how we had heard that she’d died?”

“Yes lovely woman …

“Well, I had a call from the solicitor dealing with her will and its bequests and delightfully she’s left The Hope Café £5000, saying The Hope gave her enormous pleasure in the last few years of her life.”

“Wow! That’s amazing! What a lovely gesture! How do you think you’ll spend it?”

“I have been discussing with our landlord, who happens to own the building next door, and she’s agreed we can combine the two premises. Teresa’s Brazilian deli business hasn’t been doing that well and our ‘Talking Thursdays’ are very popular, so we have a plan to take the dividing wall down ……

“It’ll cost more than £5000 don’t you think?”

“Of course! But already people who use The Hope have asked whether they can help. An architect’s volunteered to do some structural calculations for free, Jimmy of Wadsworth Plastering has said he’ll do any plastering at cost and others will come forward I’m sure. When it’s all finished we’ll put a little brass plaque on the wall next to Edith’s usual table: ‘Edith Tadstein 1935 – 2022’.”

Can’t wait!!

Richard 26^th May 2023

Hove

www.postcardscribbles.co.uk

PS Until April 2022 to divorce in the United Kingdom you needed to state compelling reasons for a judge to agree the marriage was not working and should end. Inevitably this led to unnecessary recriminations and hurt. Now the concept of a ‘No Fault’ divorce has become possible.

PPS The late, great Tina Turner said: “The older you get, the more you realise it’s not what happens – but how you deal with it.” And boy she should know!

Note 1 Improving our understanding of ‘coercive controlling behaviour’ has meant Celina now believes it was a factor in one of her best friend’s life.

So much enjoyment in my life comes from interaction with other people, be they family, friends, mere acquaintances or even complete strangers. Meeting people in the Hope Café here in Hove has been, and I trust will continue to be, interesting and rewarding. A year after I had started talking to Sami Gupta, who had been made bankrupt by the Post Office scandal (see PCs 235 and 271), he introduced me to a woman he had met on a tour of the Indian Mutiny sites in November 2022 (see PC 309). Lisa Wallace lives in Folding Over Sheet, up in the Derbyshire Peak District, and is a writer.  

Celina and I had them both over for supper in March (PCs 329 & 330) and Lisa had mentioned that a couple of years ago her now ex-husband left for a new life with his secretary! Charmingly she had defined his actions as a cliché but you could tell by the way she had said it there had been some serious issues. Later she admitted siting his coercive behaviour in her divorce action and I made a mental note to find out more.

Lisa is currently at home working on an assignment so before I spoke to her by WhatsApp, I wanted to get up to speed with the issue that in the last decade has become main stream and rightly so.

In 2015 ‘Coercive Control Behaviour’ was defined in law as when a person with whom you are personally connected repeatedly behaves in a way which makes you feel controlled, dependent, isolated or scared. Sadly there are many examples of how this plays out, from isolating you from your friends and family, controlling how much money you have and how you spend it, monitoring your activities and your movements, repeatedly putting you down, calling you names or telling you that you are worthless, threatening to harm or kill you or your child etc etc. Those charged with coercive control will be guilty if, for instance, they knew or ought to have known that their behaviour would have a serious effect on you.

Lisa knows that I spent two decades assisting people to sort out what was inside their heads in a coaching capacity, so is not surprised by my first question:

 “So, Lisa, can you tell me more about yourself?”

Well, I was born in 1976 up here in the Peak District. My parents were both teachers and I have a younger brother Simon who went to the Royal Military Academy Sandhurst and got commissioned into the Royal Engineers. I did quite well at school, who wouldn’t with parents whose life was education (!) and got a place to read journalism at the University of East Anglia. Graduated in 1997 with a first, but found that most full-time positions needed ‘experience’ – the classic Catch 22!! Wind the clock forward to today and I write regularly for The Derbyshire Times and have a monthly column in the magazine Red!”

“I remember Red. My mother used to buy it: didn’t it launch in the late 90s?”

“Yes. Aimed at the ‘thirty something’ market and now an international brand. Occasionally I contribute to Grazia and have written a number of short stories about local relationship.”

“Why relationships?”

Lisa laughs and thinks. “Probably as I feel I have experienced a lot and not all of that experience was good.”

“This about your coercive relationship with Andrew?”

“You’ve heard that a frog dropped into a beaker of hot water leaps out, but put the frog into a beaker of cold water, gradually heat it up and the frog dies? Coercive behaviour is just like that; someone also compared it to living in a house with a boiler leaking Carbon Monoxide. It’s as dangerous and possibly fatal.

I recognise now that I always go for the posh, broken guy and my heart says I need to fix them. Andrew was like that and, you know Richard, it went on for years and years. We didn’t live together but spent a huge amount of time in each other’s houses. One evening he had a supper party, some of my friends and some of his. Andrew felt very entitled, would ‘love-bomb’ me for weeks then turn and accuse me of sleeping around. Anyway this particular evening he got very jealous of my friends, who were confidently talking about their love of work, bringing me up-to-date, as this conflicted with his own lack of a work-ethic. I could see he was becoming very agitated, which was worrying as he never knew when he should stop drinking.

The party ended after midnight and, as I was loading his dishwasher, he grabbed me by my hair, which was quite a lot longer then, and pulled me upstairs to bed.

“I’m going to teach you a lesson, you cunt, flirting with my friends, avoiding me ….”

And he got out this riding crop and started hitting me. In extremis I can be quite physical so I guess we rolled about on the bed, Andrew trying to hit me, me pushing him off and still trying to reason with him. He would have raped me if he hadn’t had so much to drink and couldn’t get an erection so, in a moment of frustration, he put his knee between my breasts, put both hands around my throat and squeezed. I wriggled free twice but he just pulled me back. Eventually I fled out into the street, bleeding from the wounds inflicted by the riding crop, and bumped into an elderly chap who was walking his terrier. As he put his coat around my shoulders he called the police; I was absolute jelly! Andrew was arrested but, do you know what, I felt really embarrassed and wouldn’t press charges. I now know that’s normal, both of us worried about losing the relationship and he not recognising what he had done.

Since then I have been involved with RISE (note 1) and am undergoing therapy for PTSD.”

“It must be so difficult to have any relationship afterwards, so wary of meeting others, so suspicious! Then you met bankrupt Sami! In India of all places!”

(The story doesn’t end here!)

Richard 19^th May 2023

Hove

www.postcardscribbles.co.uk

Note 1 “RISE is an innovative staff-led mutual that designs and delivers behavioural change programmes and new approaches. Our work can be used in the criminal justice system and community to transform the lives of individuals, families and communities.”

This post is a departure from my more mundane scribbles but I feel it’s vitally important that as many people as possible understand the dangers inherent in the title; share with others if you can. I am not sure when exactly I became aware of something called ‘Sepsis’, as the term was hardly every used in the first part of the last century; it’s sometimes called septicaemia or blood poisoning. But now we talk about all sorts of things and what might have been something that the medical profession would have liked to remain under the radar has become mainstream ….. and we now know its effects can be deadly.

What or where would we be without our blood?

Our heart dispenses around 260 litres every hour, pumped to every organ and through every artery in our bodies, although the kidneys take the most at 20%. The whole cycle is complete in about 50 seconds, about four litres out through the arteries and back through the veins; what hydraulic engineers would called a closed system. (Note 1)

So why should I write about it now? A recent documentary “In Memory of Maude” featured the death of two year old Maude, the daughter of actor Jason Watkins and his wife fashion designer Clara Francis. Maude had had a sore throat and was running a temperature, severe enough to be taken to their GP, then to hospital, but was discharged. The following day they took her back to A&E as she was floppy and extremely pale. She was diagnosed with having croup and again discharged. The following morning she was found dead in her cot by her four year old sister. At no stage was Sepsis mentioned or suspected, but maybe the doctors and nursing staff didn’t really know what to look for? ‘Read, mark and inwardly digest’ the following; it could save your life or the life of someone else:

Signs of Sepsis in adults:

          Slurred speech or confusion

          Extreme shivering or muscle pain

          Passing no urine in a day

          Severe breathlessness

          It feels like you’re dying

          Skin looks mottled

A child may have sepsis if they:

          Are breathing very fast

          Have a seizure

          Look mottled, bluish or pale

          Have a rash that doesn’t fade when pressed

Are very lethargic or difficult to wake

          Feel abnormally cold to touch

To quote: ‘Sepsis is the body’s extreme response to an infection. It is a life-threatening emergency. Sepsis happens when an infection you already have, for example influenza, triggers a chain reaction throughout your body. Infections that lead to sepsis most often start in the lung, urinary tract, skin or gastrointestinal tract.”

Here in the United Kingdom the Sepsis Trust says 48,000 die of sepsis every year. Early intravenous antibiotics are essential; for every hour lost, the risk of death rises by 8%! Nice huh?

A very good friend of my daughter suffered a horrendous car crash some years ago and it left her with physical and mental issues one wouldn’t wish on anyone. Suffice to say she is often diagnosed with Sepsis and rushed to hospital on an infrequent but depressingly regular basis. This was rumbling in the background when I then read of some poor unfortunate obese individual who had joined the trend to have a Gastro Band fitted in Turkey, saving himself many thousands of pounds. Sadly like so many of these ‘on-the-face-of-it-amazing-deals’, the minimal local after-care didn’t pick up that he had got an infection, that turned into Sepsis, and he died. The surgeon had said he’d had a cardiac arrest but a post-mortem revealed internal bleeding!  

My son-in-law Sam was recently told that a friend with whom he had lost contact had had a heart issue which required hospitalisation. Presumably it was serious enough for him to be put into a coma, but somehow bacteria got in, Sepsis got hold of his body and he woke up without his hands and feet. He is in his 40s.

The loss of one’s hands and feet following a bout of Sepsis seems quite common. Septic shock causes small blood clots in the blood vessels, which prevent adequate blood flow to the fingers, hands, arms, toes, feet and legs. Given that our blood carries vital oxygen and nutrients, tissues deprived of these begin to die.

Now I come to a news story the nub of which constantly reverberates around my brain. A white woman had developed sepsis after a urinary tract infection, relapsed into a coma for nine weeks, and had both her hands and feet amputated. Makes you realise how infections can have such tragic consequences. Kim Smith obviously imagined that our healthcare system would respond by outlining her options, either with the provision of prosthetic hands and feet or with some transplanted ones. The whole issue is frankly distressing for those of us not faced with these choices, but in her case it got worse. She had been accepted as suitable for having a double hand transplant but the search for donor hands was proving quite difficult. According to the article she was offered either a pair of male hands or those of a black female. I have read this a number of times, but still can’t get my mind around the emotional impact of the initial need and then the offered solution.

I type these scribbles using fingers attached to my white hands and try to imagine if I had been in Kim’s situation, what I might have found acceptable. Reminds me a little of ‘Sophie’s Choice’ ……… (Note 2)

Richard 12^th May 2023

Hove

http://www.postcardscribbles.co.uk

PS In 1863 the British surgeon and anatomist Joseph Green was finding his pulse. “Stopped!” he announced and promptly died.

Note 1 The Body: A Guide for Occupants by Bill Bryson

Note 2 Sophie’s Choice is a novel by William Styron and a 1982 film. Sophie is asked by a Nazi concentration camp officer to choose between her daughter and son; the one not chosen will go straight to the gas chamber.

…….. “Sorry Mo! Needs must! Now, where was I?”

“In the Brighton Dome! Hasn’t it been an entertainment venue for a couple of hundred years?”

“Yes, amazing really. Seemingly the Prince of Wales, later King George IV, wanted a bigger and better stable block for his horses and commissioned the building of the Brighton Dome. It took five years and £54,000, a small fortune by the time it was finished in 1808. Over its lifetime it’s been riding stables, a place of protest and solidarity for the Suffragettes, a World War One dance hall, a temporary hospital in World War Two and even a roller skating rink. Today, inter alia, it’s the organisational hub of the annual Brighton Festival in May.”

“Great place to have in the city, especially with that history! What else’s being going on?”

                    “I know you read most of my scribbles so you may recall in PC 328, ‘Random, Fate and Consequences’, I wrote that ‘He who hesitates is lost’ is one of the Christian Proverbs – Proverbs 3 Verse 2.’.”

                    “Yeah, I really enjoyed that PC and have thought about buying one of those Ottolenghi pieces of pottery.”

                    “Celina and I have kept in touch with a Dianne & Tim Tinnes from San Francisco, with whom we shared canoes during our Pantanal trip in 2014 (See PC 20). Tim reads my postcards and occasionally comments. He couldn’t find Proverbs 3 and additionally asked: “Why say Christian when there is no Christian ie New Testament bible book called Proverbs!” I live and learn!

Off to find a sandbank to have breakfast on, in the River Negro

Firstly in my mind I think of the Bible as a complete book, both Old (OT) and New Testaments ….. but now see the error of my labelling, as the New Testament is the only Christian part. I live and learn! I told him I had Googled ‘He who hesitates ……’, got Proverbs 3/2 and assumed it referred to the Book of Proverbs in the OT. This morning I lifted one of my physical books of reference, The Dictionary of Quotations and Proverbs, off the shelf and looked up ‘He who hesitates …..’.  No ‘proverb’ exists!”

“Oooh!” says Mo, “that’s going to be on my ‘To Do’ list this week, to find out more.”

Out of the corner of my eye I notice Sami coming through the door, and lift my arm in recognition. He comes over and I introduce him to Mo.

“Where’s Lisa this week Sami?’

“Ah! She gone back to Derbyshire for a few days; think she had an important assignment to complete and she didn’t need me as a distraction! I read your postcard about the Year of the Rabbit (PC 331) and that encouraged me to watch David Attenborough’s Wild Isles programme, but I’ve only seen the first two episodes.”

“So you haven’t seen what I call ‘The Trojan Horse’ episode?”

“Not yet! Tell me …..”says Sami and Mo cries: “Yes please!”

“An absolutely fascinating story concerning the early life of the Large Blue butterfly. It became extinct in Britain in 1979, largely as a result of the huge decrease in the rabbit population due to Myxomatosis which changed its habitat; a great example of the co-dependences across the natural world. Now through careful land management it’s making a comeback. I am no lepidopterist but this tale could easily have been the instigator for the Wooden Horse at the gates of Troy! Let me explain.

The eggs of the Large Blue are often laid on plants such as Wild Thyme and fall down to soil level as they develop into little caterpillars. Along comes the Red Ant, which just loves eating caterpillars; in the TV series this needs some very dramatic background music!! Knowledge is key and the Large Blue caterpillar secretes some honey dew onto its back, inflates its body and as the air escapes, the sound is like the distress call of a Queen Red ant. The Red worker ant instinctively pulls the caterpillar into the safety of its nest (cf The Trojan Horse?) where, over a six month period, the caterpillar eats all the ant larvae and grows to be one hundred times its original size!

The butterfly emerges ….

The larva develops into a chrysalis from whence eventually the Large Blue butterfly emerges. Wildlife programmes rely on great photography and patience, a good commentary and appropriate music. Turn off the audio and you might imagine you are watching something very different. However in this particular case, just so believable and utterly Trojan Horse-ish!”

“That is unbelievable! Good old Mother Nature. By the way” says Sami “have you been to The Salt Room on Kingsway? Lisa and I are thinking of going but it’s got mixed reviews.”

“That’s always the case; everyone’s expectations are different, don’t you think? Funnily enough I went on a Sunday evening a couple of weeks ago, as a guest of someone who had been to the Goodwood Revival.”

“And was it good?”

“Well, one starter caught my eye: ‘Wild Argentinian Red Prawns – cooked over coal, with Pil Pil sauce and Chive Oil (Price per prawn £3!)’.  Being a guest I got a bit stuck when the waiter asked: ‘How many would you like, sir?’ I had no idea what size an Argentinian Red Prawn was, so was 2 too much or should I ask for 3 or 4? Decided to play safe and instead ordered the ‘coal-roasted scallops with chorizo crumb, coral beurre blanc and purple basil’, which were delicious.

The uncertainty about the number of prawns reminded me of going to a fish restaurant in Tavistock Street, just up from The Strand in central London. I ordered ‘Grilled Sardines on a bed of blah blah’. When my plate arrived I was slightly surprised to find ONE, just effing ONE.’ (note 1)”

Mo and Sami laughed out loud and we settled in for more inconsequential chat …… until Libby came over and suggested we play our part in reducing the loneliness of others!

Richard 5^th May 2023

Hove

www.postcardscribbles.co.uk

PS In some television programme that was inadvertently on one evening, an English woman was trying to identify Romania. “It’s near Turkey inn’t? No! No! That’s not right; Turkey’s in Africa.” God help us all!

Note 1 I wrote and complained …. and got a free meal a month later!